Behind every good date is a series of mindsets and actions that led to an overall subjectively pleasant experience. Likewise, behind every bad date lies a bunch of junky beliefs and ineffective actions. We’re going to point and break down some of the problematic ones here so you can avoid them now and in the future as you go about your dating life.
1) Touch girls a lot.
‘Kino’ is one of the biggest myths in men’s dating advice out there these days. ‘Kino’ is an abbreviation of kinesthetic, which means physical, often used in the sense of a kinesthetic learner as opposed to a visual or auditory learner. In the realm of internet dating advice for guys, however, kino has basically come to mean getting all touchey-feely with a girl. Usually as soon as possible, as often as possible and as much as she’ll let you. Big mythology behind this is that by touching a girl, it’ll make her honry, and thus want to sleep with you. BS. Pure, straight up BS. One thing kino DOES do is let you know if a girl is into you, because she won’t necessarily stop you from touching her… But that comes at the cost of framing yourself as a slimey grabby dude. Much better ways of finding out if and how much she’s into you rather than getting all molesty on her. If you want to suck at dating, then ramp up your kino and get as touchey-feely as possible.
2) Text her a ton.
Another huge mistake guys make is texting and/or calling a woman too often after getting her contact info. Scarcity and value have always gone together like peanut butter and jelly! So when guys start texting / calling for reasons unrelated to scheduling the next date with her, it’s probably working against them. Practice self control and self discipline by only calling her to schedule dates. One of our guys traveled overseas for 19 months – in that time, a girl he had been dating contacted him twice, and he politely responded – and when he got back, things picked up right where they left off. No ‘pings’ on his end, no ‘magical texts,’ no ‘maintenance.’ So there you have it – if you want to suck at dating, text and call her early and often.
3) Converse about deep, divisive topics.
When it comes to conversational topics on a date, there are a handful we recommend you avoid at any cost. Topics like politics, religion, war, death, destruction, famine, the plague, finance problems, health problems, personals problem, ex-girlfriends or past mistakes. Some of this may be obvious, but we like to be comprehensive here at Loveawake. If you want to suck at dating, then definitely give your heartfelt opinion about genocide during your next date.
4) Don’t learn from your experiences.
Here’s something most guys never consider: by refusing to observe, learn, record and experiment with their dates, they’ll likely never grow… Or if they do, it’ll be a fraction of the pace that they would have grown had they done so. Guys who wander into dates with their eyes and ears closed shouldn’t be surprised when they can’t figure out what they did wrong (if anything), how much the girl was into them and what her personality / attitude was like. Without that raw experience-based-knowledge, it’s practically impossible to learn and improve. Likewise, guys relying on their memory is good compared to hard-bound written down stuff. They may or may do well over the long run, but they’d be better served by recording their observations and lessons from their dates every time in order to grow optimially. Finally, without ever experimenting, guys get stuck in their comfort zone and end up re-living the exact same dates and relationships with similar girls – and for some guys, that’s great because they’re already satisfied with their dating lives. But for those of you who really want to suck at dating, then refuse to observe, learn, record and experiment with your dating.
5) Stop meeting more women.
One of the worst mistakes any guy can make with women is put all his eggs in one basket. Until a really Amazing woman explicitly begs you to be her boyfriend and you explicitly agree, then you should be out and about meeting new women every single day. To slack on meeting women before that will inevitably and negatively effect your online dating life. Guys with less options act thirsty for sex and are more likely to do things that turn the woman off. Best way around that is to simply get up, get out and go talk to 30 or more women every single day. That really keeps things in perspective – unless a woman really is so Amazing that she’s beating out the 30+ new women a day competition (and yes, we’ve met some really Amazing women like this), then there’s little reason for any guy to lump all his eggs in one basket. So if you want to suck at dating, make sure you’re totally emotionally invested in how well things go with just one woman.